


so this is love

by airplanewishes



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani and Nicky | Nicolò di Genova are in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova Loves Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Romance, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26556835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airplanewishes/pseuds/airplanewishes
Summary: "What's your name?" he asks just as he presses his lips to Nicky's cheek."Nicky," Nicky answers, sounding breathless.The guy pulls back with a smile on his face. "Joe," he introduces himself and then he's kissing Nicky. On the lips.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 29
Kudos: 507





	so this is love

Nicky's phone is vibrating in the middle of the table. He deliberately ignores it, despite the sound echoing across the library, choosing to focus on the book that he's reading. It's a very important text and one that he needs to read so he can pass this Philosophy class that he's only taking because his best friend dragged him into it. His phone stops vibrating much to his relief. He has a pretty good idea who is on the other end because it's the same call he's been getting for the past week and he really doesn't want to deal with it right now. Not in the middle of midterms, but especially, not ever.

He's just turned another page when his phone starts vibrating again. This time he can feel the glares of the other students. Nicky is all ready to just let the call go to voicemail again when he feels a kick on his shin. Hissing, he looks up and furrows his brows at Quynh.

"If you don't answer that, I'm going to throw your phone outside," Quynh warns him, voice low but menacing.

Nicky pouts because her eyebrows are raised, which means that she's serious. Quynh had driven his car into a ditch because, according to her, he was being an asshole. Quynh just rolls her eyes and picks his phone up to look at the caller.

"It's my mom," Nicky tells her.

"It is," Quynh confirms, putting his phone back down. "Is she asking again?"

"It's been all about that these days," Nicky grumbles, turning his attention back to his book.

Getting into university wasn't the freeing experience Nicky thought it would be. Everyone said it was all parties and meeting people and having fun. It seemed like he'd get more freedom to do what he wanted to do and that he would be left alone. Granted that his parents agreed to let him study literature, university still didn't live up to his expectation of the _freedom_ people said he would have. He's really not complaining. It's hard to complain about living in a two-bedroom apartment by himself, while also having a car, and being in the same school as his best friend. Still. It doesn't feel like he's left home at all sometimes.

Nicky grabs his phone when his mom starts calling again and starts packing his stuff.

"Where are you going?" Quynh asks, watching him stuff his things in his backpack.

"It's going to be a long conversation so might as well pick it up on my way home," Nicky says, making a face. He really isn't looking forward to this conversation. "You staying or do you want to come over?" he asks, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

Quynh purses her lips, tucking strands of her straight, black hair behind her ear, as she thinks it over. She then shakes her head. "I think I'll stay for another hour," she says. "I have to finish this paper." She gestures to the mess that is her laptop and her notes and sighs. "Pick me up tomorrow?" she asks.

Nicky makes his way to her side of the table. "Sure," he says, ruffling her hair. "See you tomorrow."

"Good luck," Quynh calls out.

The moment Nicky steps out of the library, he calls his mother back. It takes half a ring before his mother is answering and chattering at him for ignoring her calls.

"I wasn't," Nicky is quick to say. "I was in the library."

"Nicolo," his mother starts and Nicky takes a deep breath because here it goes. "The wedding is in three months. I would have thought you would have called Sebastien already to ask him to go with you. But his mother tells me you guys haven't talked."

"Mom," Nicky whines a little. "Why can't I just go alone? Why do I have to go with Booker?" He's not even sure why he has to go. Sure, his family is friends with the people getting married, but that doesn't mean Nicky knows them. It's just that it's been dubbed the wedding of the decade, which is why they have to keep up appearances.

"Because _Sebastien's_ family, the le Livres, are a very prominent family," his mother reminds him, for what feels like the hundredth time. "It would benefit the family business."

"Why can't Andy marry into their family then?" Nicky asks. Leaning against the side of his car once he reaches it. He bows his head in frustration. He knows about Booker and how affluent his family is. It seems like they've taken over the publishing and public relations industry. But he doesn't really know anything else about him. "Don't answer that," he follows it up hurriedly. It's not fair for him to sell his sister out like that.

"You know your sister," his mom huffs anyway. "Please just call Sebastien and go out with him once and see. There is no harm in meeting him." She pauses. "I just want you to be happy, Nicky. I know all the other dates I set you up on didn't work out, but Sebastien seems like he's nice and sweet." He's also the first guy his mother is setting him up with so he supposes that's an improvement. Shaking his head as he straightens up, he can't believe he's actually going to do it.

"One date," Nicky gives in. "One."

His mother squeals, making him laugh a little. "Okay, okay, let me know how it goes, okay, dear? I love you, Nicolo." His mother hangs up before he can even reply.

Sighing, he pockets his phone and gets into his car. Being a part of a wealthy family has its pros and cons. Nicky has grown up with a lot of privilege, but that privilege comes with a price. Dating and falling in love only works if its with someone the family approves, which is quite hard to do because their family believes in having the right connections. And marriage is the most important one.

Oh well. It's just one date. It doesn't have to mean anything. Nicky is doing this because he wants to makes his mother happy. Maybe she'll lay off on setting him up for a while.

Sebastien le Livre is a jerk. Nicky had shaved and put on one of his nice navy polo shirts with some dark pants and black dress shoes. He'd figured why not make the most of it. He hasn't gone on a date in a while. It wouldn't hurt to enjoy it. Besides, they were going to be in a nice restaurant with good food and ambiance. Nicky isn't going to put that to waste.

Except that Booker is a jackass.

"I don't like you and I'm not going to marry you," is the first thing Booker says as soon as Nicky sits down across from him.

"I just sat down. I don't even know you and you're already talking about marriage?" Nicky quips. It's unfortunate that Booker is rude because he actually attractive. He's bulky and burly in a way that looks like he's going to protect you no matter what. He looks like he would give good hugs. It sucks because there's no way Nicky is going to want a hug from him now.

"Let's not kid ourselves," Booker retorts. "We both know why we're here. This isn't just a normal date."

Nicky leans back on his seat and sighs. "I don't know what you want me to say," he tells him. "I'm here because I'm appeasing my mother, but that doesn't mean you have to be rude about it."

Booker has the grace to look apologetic. "Sorry," he mutters. "I didn't mean to be rude." He picks up the menu and hands it to him. "Let's order."

"Let's not," Nicky decides. Booker's eyes widen in panic. "We both don't want to be here. Why should we waste each other's time?"

"What will you tell your mom?" Booker asks with a frown.

"I promised her one date," Nicky replies with a shrug. "I'll just have to find someone else to go to the wedding with." He purses his lips at the thought. He's going to have to come up with someone fast. "Who will you go with?" Booker hesitates. "Never mind," he tells him.

"Listen, I have a friend," Booker starts. Nicky stares at him and Booker cowers a little. "I'm just trying to help."

"A setup from a setup," Nicky remarks, snickering a little. He shakes his head. "I'd rather not. I don't think that would work better than this," he says, gesturing between the two of them.

"But--" Booker hurries.

"Hello." Suddenly, there's a guy sitting on the empty seat beside Nicky's. "Nicky," he greets.

"Keane," Nicky returns, raising his eyebrows in surprise. He then frowns. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm your plus one to the wedding," Keane tells him with a grin.

"No," Nicky rejects him at once. He and Keane may not know each other well. But they know each other enough that Keane has asked him out several times in the past. None of which Nicky has said yes to. It's not that Keane isn't good-looking; he is. It's just that Keane is too full of himself. Besides, it's not like Keane has a shortage of people he's been going out with.

"Aw, c'mon, Nicky." Keane smiles winningly.

"You two know each other," Booker comments, looking a bit amused.

"I've been trying to get Nicky to go out with me for a while now," Keane tells him with a smirk.

"The answer will always be no, Keane," Nicky reiterates. He pushes his chair back. "Well, this has been nice," he says. "I should go."

Nicky gets up, nods at both of them and walks out of the restaurant. He breathes a sigh of relief once he's out of there. But it's short-lived when Keane follows him outside, touching his arm.

"Nicky," Keane says, brows furrowed a little. He drops his hand back to his side. "Look, I don't want to push, but... is there a reason you don't want to go on at least one date with me? You went out with Booker." He gestures behind him towards the restaurant.

Nicky doesn't want to be mean so he lies. "I'm seeing someone else," he says. He meets Keane's surprised gaze. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to make a big deal of it."

"I didn't realize," Keane responds, taking a step back. He looks behind Nicky and nods. "Is that him?"

Nicky turns around and follows Keane's light of sight. There's a guy standing a couple of feet away from them, outside of a resto-bar, wearing dark jeans and a gray button down. He's holding a cigarette in his right hand and scrolling through his phone with the other. Even from the side, he looks attractive with his short curly hair and five o'clock shadow. Nicky turns back towards Keane and nods, hoping he's not making an even bigger mess of the one he's already in.

"Yeah," Nicky says. He presses his lips together. "Sorry."

"No," Keane says, shaking his head and smiling a little. "Don't apologize." He glances behind Nicky again. "It's sweet that he's waiting for you to come back from a date."

"Oh," Nicky says, his heart thudding in his chest. That makes sense. Why didn't he think of that? "Uh, no one knows we've been going out. I haven't told my family about us so I had to go on this one. He understands."

"Go on then," Keane tells him, nodding towards the stranger that is now Nicky's boyfriend. "You probably shouldn't keep him waiting any longer."

"Right," Nicky stammers. He turns towards his so-called boyfriend and then glances back at Keane, who is clearly waiting for him to approach him. He supposes he's just going to have to wing it. "I'll see you in school."

"See you," Keane says, not moving to go back inside.

Nicky walks away from him and approaches the stranger, whose cigarette is almost finished. He's still scrolling through his phone though, his brows furrowed. Nicky takes a deep breath and quietly clears his throat to announce his presence, knowing that Keane is still watching. The guy looks up and turns his gaze on him, his beautiful dark eyes making Nicky's palms sweat. He'd thought he was good-looking from afar, but it's nothing compared to how handsome he is up close.

"Hi," Nicky greets, smiling a little.

"Hi," the guy returns his greeting with a bigger smile.

"I'm really sorry about this," Nicky continues, glancing behind him. Sure enough, Keane is watching them. "I just told that guy that you were my boyfriend. Just so he would leave me alone," he's quick to add.

The guy's brows furrow as he glances at Keane. "Is he bothering you?" he asks, looking back at Nicky and pocketing his phone. He drops his remaining cigarette to the ground and steps on it.

"Not right now, not really. He's just been asking me out a lot," Nicky explains, shaking his head. "But, uh, I told him we were dating and now he's watching and--"

The guy grins and it takes Nicky's breath away. What a beautiful man. Nicky has to blink several times to make sure he's seeing right. He then takes Nicky's hand and brings it to his lips to kiss. Nicky feels his face flush. "Do you want him to see me romancing you?" he asks.

Nicky's eyes are on the guy's lips on his hand. It's so weird how he feels warm all over in a way that's never happened before. And all because this handsome guy is kissing his knuckles. "That's the idea," he responds. He glances at the bar they're standing outside of. "Thank you," he tells him, glancing behind him and seeing that Keane was turning to go back inside. He takes his hand back. That should be good for now. No need for overt displays of affection. "I think that's fine. Thank you."

"He's still standing there, though. I think we're going to have to be more convincing," the guy says. "Come here." He puts his hand on Nicky's waist and pulls him closer. "I'm going to kiss you, okay?" he says, waiting for Nicky to nod. Nicky gulps and nods. Joe smiles. "What's your name?" he asks just as he presses his lips to Nicky's cheek.

"Nicky," Nicky answers, sounding breathless.

The guy pulls back with a smile on his face. "Joe," he introduces himself and then he's kissing Nicky. On the lips.

Nicky gasps into it, his eyes closing and his hands finding purchase on Joe's arms. Joe's lips are soft. He tastes sweet and like smoke, but Nicky doesn't even care because he's kissing Nicky like they've been kissing each other for a very long time. It's slow and soft and sweet. It makes Nicky's toes curl in his shoes and makes his hands grip Joe's sleeves. Joe's beard scratches Nicky's cheeks and chin, but Nicky doesn't even care. It's been a while since he's been kissed and it's been a while since he's been kissed _like this_ , like he's being swept off his feet and falling in love at the same time. Nicky steps closer, his hands travelling upwards so he can wrap his arms around Joe's neck and pull him even closer.

Joe chuckles and pulls away, leaving their faces mere inches from each other. "Well," he comments, his eyes on Nicky's lips. "Even _I_ am convinced."

"Me too," Nicky can't help but say. Joe is so beautiful when he laughs that Nicky just leans forward and kisses him again. Joe kisses him back, his hands on Nicky's waist tightening. And then NIcky's brain catches up with what he's doing and pulls away. "Sorry," he stammers, his face feeling hot. He takes a step back and looks behind him. Keane is gone.

"I'm not," Joe replies with a smile. He glances back at the bar and then gives Nicky an apologetic look. "I'm really sorry, though, but I have to go. My friends are waiting for me."

"Yeah, of course," Nicky says, nodding and stepping back. "I've taken too much for your time. Thank you again for what you did."

"It was my pleasure," Joe says, winking. "Are you going to be okay?" He looks behind him to make sure Keane isn't there anymore.

"Yeah," Nicky assures him. He wants to kiss him again. He shoves his hands in his pockets and takes another step back. He really should walk away now before he's unable to help himself. "Well, okay then," he says, feeling himself blush. "Bye."

Joe grins at him and then he's walking back into the bar, disappearing through a crowd of people. Nicky takes a very deep breath. He knows they won't see each other again.

Nicky stares at his ringing phone in confusion as he makes his way to his first class. Andy never calls. She's been away for about two years now, doing some traveling just so she can get away from the nagging of their parents. She's only ever called on Nicky's birthdays. It's not that they weren't close. Nicky knows that she cares about him. It's just that Andy's always been a person of few words. He answers the call just before it goes to voicemail.

"Hey you," Andy greets.

"Hey," Nicky greets back. "Is everything okay?"

"I can't call you without there being something wrong?" Andy teases.

Nicky reaches his classroom and hangs back outside, leaning against the wall across from the door. "How are you?" he asks instead. "Where are you right now?"

"Catania," she answers.

"Are you coming to the wedding?" he wants to know.

"Yes," she confirms. "I promised Quynh I'd come home for that." She pauses. "How is she?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" he says, smiling a little. They've been dancing around each other for so long, it's ridiculous. He's not sure what they're waiting for.

"So." Andy ignores his question. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"No?" Nicky asks, nodding at some classmates who say hi to him. "What do you mean?"

Andy sighs. "Nicky, I thought we were close," she says, almost whining. Nicky can almost hear her pouting.

"I really don't know what you're talking about," Nicky tells her, confused. He wracks his brain for anything that might have happened in the past week that was worth mentioning. His non-date with Booker definitely isn't worthy. Besides, she probably already knows about that.

"I hear you're dating now," Andy gives in. "How could you not tell me? This is such a big deal."

Nicky blinks. "I'm not dating anyone," he says.

"I've been told, by several people, mind you, that you've been seen with someone last week," she shares. " _Last week,_ Nicky. I can't believe you didn't tell me. I had to hear it from everyone else."

They can't mean... "I am not going out with Booker le Livre." Nicky can't help the vehemence in his tone. "If he's been telling people that we're together, it's a lie. I went on a date with him because mom kept pestering me about it. It was barely even a date. We just sat there for like thirty minutes and then I left. We didn't even order food. He didn't want to be there either," he rants. He thought that was clear. It seemed they understood each other in that regard. Why would Booker be spreading misinformation then?

"Not Booker," Andy corrects him. "If you started seeing him, I'd knock some sense into you. Literally. No, I meant, Yusuf al-Kaysani."

"Who?" Nicky blurts out. "I don't even know who that is."

"Really, Nicky?" Andy sighs once more. "Fine, be that way. I expect the whole story when I come home. I gotta go. Love you."

"Love you," Nicky manages to say just before Andy hangs up.

What the hell was that about? Nicky glares at his phone, as if it's personally offended him, before putting it in his pocket. Who the hell is Yusuf al-Kaysani and why are people saying that Nicky is with him? If there's anything he hasn't done in recently, it's going out on an actually date, much less go out on a date with the same person more than once. University has been busier than Nicky thought. Plus, he really liked being able to read stuff he enjoys and tell everyone that it's for school so they'd stop bothering him.

Nicky hitches his bag up his shoulder and walks into class. He slips into an empty seat in the back, catching the eye of Quynh, who gestures rather vigorously at him, mouthing something that he can't understand. Quynh sighs, grabs her things, and makes her way towards him and plops down on the seat beside his.

"What?" Nicky asks when Quynh shoots him a look. "What did I do?"

"What didn't you do?" Quynh returns with a smirk. When Nicky gives her a confused look, she shakes her head and lets out a breath. "You went out with someone last Friday and you didn't tell me," she states with a small pout.

Nicky groans as quietly as he can. The professor isn't in yet, but he'd rather not discuss his private affairs with other students listening in. "You knew I was going out with Booker," he reminds her. "I told you. You were there when I whined about it. In fact, you were the only one I told about it."

Quynh grabs Nicky's arm, pulling him closer. "Not him," she retorts. "Yusuf al-Kaysani."

"No, not you, too," Nicky complains. "Andy called me just now." He pulls away from Quynh, who blushes just at the mention of Andy. "I don't even know who that is. The only person I was with last week was Booker." Quynh raises an eyebrow. "Oh, and Keane was there."

"What was he doing there?" Quynh demands. She really doesn't like Keane. Because he's asked her out, too, and then moved on to Nicky.

Nicky shrugs. "Booker was trying to set us up," he shares, rolling his eyes. "Anyway, they were the only one I was with that weekend. I left pretty quickly, too, and--" He stops.

"What?" Quynh asks, looking worried when Nicky just stares at her.

Nicky remembers something else, someone else. He'd been with someone else that Friday, kind of, that wasn't Booker or Keane. Joe. Joe, the really handsome guy, with such a winning, beautiful smile, who also happens to be an amazing kisser. He has to fight to close his eyes and remember what the kiss felt like, because even a week later, he still remembers the swoop in his tummy at the way Joe kissed and held him that night. But his name was Joe and not Yusuf.

"Who is Yusuf al-Kaysani?" Nicky questions.

"I don't really know him. I just hear his name every now and then. From what I know is that their family is incredibly rich from having various business deals across Europe and have now just moved here," Quynh explains. "That, and he's incredibly hot and charming. Like, people rave about him and his skills, if you know what I mean." She wiggles her eyebrows up and down. Nicky makes a face at her.

"Why would people think I'd be going out with him then? I don't even know him," Nicky tells her. "If I knew him, you'd know."

Quynh raises one shoulder in a half shrug, turning her attention back to her notebook. "All I've heard is that people saw you guys making out on the sidewalk," she relays.

Nicky inhales sharply.

Nicky waits until all his classes are over for the day before he allows himself to think about Yusuf al-Kaysani. Or is it Joe? He doesn't really know what to think. Could they really be the same person? Could Joe, the man who'd kissed him so passionately and so beautifully, be Yusuf al-Kaysani?

He makes his way to the soccer field stands, which is usually the place he goes to whenever he wants to do some reading away from the quietness of the library. The covered area of the stands is littered with a number of people, more now, now that there is soccer practice going on. Nicky finds a space with fewer people around it and puts his stuff down. He sits and then types _Yusuf al-Kaysani_ onto the search bar.

It doesn't really reveal anything more than what Quynh has already told him. There are just some blurbs about his family and their businesses. There are no pictures of him anywhere. He has no social media accounts. Although why Nicky would be surprised about that, he's not sure. It's not like Nicky has left pieces of himself online either. Still he'd been hoping that he could ease the confusion he's feeling. He just really wants to know if they're the same person.

"Nicky," someone calls.

Nicky looks up from his phone. It's a girl from one of his classes. He smiles and nods at her, turning away and picking up the book he's been reading, already thinking about asking Quynh for more information about him. It would be embarrassing because she would definitely tease him, but it would be better than knowing nothing.

"Nicky," the girl calls again. Nicky looks up. "Someone's calling for you." She points towards the field.

Nicky looks towards the field and immediately stands at what he sees. He makes his way down to the field, almost stumbling down the steps, and comes face to face with Joe.

"I can't believe it," Joe remarks with that beautiful smile on his face.

"You're a soccer player," Nicky states, eyeing Joe in his soccer jersey and shorts.

"And looks like you're a reader," Joe comments, smiling and taking the book Nicky's holding. Dante's Inferno. "A bit morbid."

"At least it's poetic," Nicky returns. Joe grins, handing the book back to him. "What are you doing here?" he asks. He'd been looking for answers, but he didn't actually expect to come face to face with it and so soon.

"My family just moved here," Joe tells him. "And now we're in the same school. This is like destiny." He winks, making Nicky avert his gaze and clear his throat. Joe chuckles and then glances back at the rest of the team, who are waiting on him. "So I have to go and practice now. But do you think you can wait for me to finish?" he asks. Nicky half shrugs and nods. "I think there are things we need to talk about," he goes on, lips quirking in amusement, " _boyfriend_."

Nicky gapes at him. But before he could say anything else, Joe jogs back to the field.

"Okay, so, for the record, I didn't tell anyone about what happened. I didn't spread the rumours that we're together," Nicky states the moment Joe sits across from him.

They'd decided to meet outside of school, in a cafe. Nicky had sat there for about two hours, unable to do anything but frown at the table. Joe seemed cool about the entire thing, joking with him and all that, but who really knows how he feels? It's one thing to help someone out when there's a need. It's an entirely different thing to announce that pretense to the entire world. And Nicky doesn't really know Joe that well, but he might have a small crush on him, one that stems from an amazing kiss that he's hoping would happen again in the future. Maybe. If things work out. If Joe hasn't gotten completely freaked out by him yet.

"Hello to you, too," Joe says with a laugh. He sees the menu on the table and flips through it. "Have you ordered anything?"

Nicky shakes his head. "I was waiting for you," he tells him. "I wasn't sure how this conversation was gonna go."

Joe gives him a curious look. "What do you mean?" he asks.

"I mean," Nicky replies, shrugging a little, "this conversation could go okay or really badly."

Joe puts the menu down and tilts his head, and he's so cute that Nicky looks away. "Tell me how bad this conversation can go," he queries.

"Well," Nicky starts, taking a deep breath. He clasps his hands together on the tabletop. "For one, you could be mad that this whole _boyfriend_ thing got so overblown. You were just trying to help a random stranger and then this happens. You're suddenly attached to someone you barely know--you just moved here, too. It's probably ruining all the plans that you've had for this school year and for your new start here and I'm really sor--"

"Hey," Joe cuts him off gently, placing a hand on top of Nicky's clasped ones. "You haven't ruined anything. I'm not mad at you or at this whole thing," he clarifies and then smiles. Nicky hopes that the hitch in his breath wasn't too obvious. "If anything, I think it's funny that people would so easily believe that we'd be together."

"What do you mean?" Nicky asks with a frown.

"Are you serious?" Joe gestures towards him.

"What?" Nicky can feel himself curling up. He unclasps his hands and moves to remove it from Joe's, but Joe grabs his right hand, stopping him.

"I just mean," Joe clears up as he squeezes Nicky's hand, "that you're really, really beautiful, Nicky, and for people to think that I even have a chance--"

"Me?" Nicky interjects. "Have you seen yourself? If there's anyone at this table who's handsome, it's you."

Joe grins. "Well, at least it's clear that we both find each other attractive," he states, looking rather pleased. He rubs his thumb over Nicky's knuckles. Nicky blushes. Maybe Nicky shouldn't have been so bold in expressing his attraction to him. Although Joe's boldness makes it hard for him not to say anything in return. "I don't mind doing this, you know, being your boyfriend." He smirks when Nicky turns even pinker. "It helps fend off unwanted attention," he adds, sounding hasty. "This way I won't have to reject anyone and can just focus on settling here and soccer."

Nicky's heart sinks at those words. But what can he do? It makes sense. If he and Joe pretend to be together, Joe would be free to do what he wants and maybe Nicky's family would finally let him live in peace. He takes his hand back and places them on his lap. He can agree to this. It would be weird, but it could work. It's already done wonders so far. If Andy and Quynh know, his parents will probably know soon enough. It's only a matter of time.

"If you're sure," Nicky says.

"Never been more sure about anything." Joe winks.

Nicky rolls his eyes, despite his blush deepening. He thinks this is going to be a problem. He can't even control his giddiness and affection for Joe. "So," he changes the subject, "people have been telling me that I'm going out with Yusuf al-Kaysani, but I don't even know who that is. Or, at least, I didn't, until I put two and two together."

Joe's eyes light up at this, as if surprised that Nicky knows his real name. "Yes, my name is Yusuf," he confirms. "I go by Joe because it's just easier for everyone. What about you? I'm guessing Nicky is short for something."

"Nicolo," Nicky shares. Joe raises his eyebrows. "Genova," he adds.

"Nicolo," Joe repeats slowly, like he's testing how the name sounds in his mouth. Nicky suddenly has thoughts of Joe saying his name in many other, more interesting instances, before he can stop his brain. "So what should I call you? I mean, if we're boyfriends, shouldn't we have pet names?" he teases.

Nicky mutters, " _Be careful what you wish for or I just might call you_ caro _or_ tesoro," under his breath, in Italian. "Just Nicky is fine. I don't mind calling you Joe," he tells him, back to his normal voice, in English.

"I think I like _caro_ better," Joe eagerly declares, smirking when Nicky starts coughing in surprise. "And I can call you _habibi_ in return." He winks.

_Habibi._ The Arabic equivalent of Italy's _caro,_ which means dear. Of course Joe would understand Italian and would understand what's probably one of the most embarrassing things Nicky could say in his presence.

"I feel like things are getting out of control," Nicky comments, pretending he's not embarrassed. He pats his cheeks a little, which just makes Joe's smile grow bigger. " _Caro_ and _habibi_ , really? I feel like that's too fast for two people who just met."

"If you wanted to slow down, you shouldn't have kissed me," Joe remarks, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. "Besides, you're the one who suggested pet names in another language."

Nicky rolls his eyes, even if it was his idea, but pauses. "Hey, if I remember correctly, _you_ kissed me," he retorts.

Joe half shrugs, as if saying it doesn't matter who kissed who. "It doesn't matter to me," he shares. "I got to kiss you and that in itself is a great thing to have happened."

"You're a flirt," Nicky declares, shaking his head, hoping that it doesn't show how much that one sentence makes him feel giddy.

"So is that part of the rules? I can't flirt with my boyfriend?" Joe wants to know.

Nicky sighs. This conversation is more than what he expected it to be. "If we're going to have rules, the most important one is that you have to go with me to the Freeman wedding," he states. "No matter what happens." Joe raises his eyebrows at him, as if pressing for more. "I guess I might as well tell you now before we go through with anything," Nicky goes on. "My parents have been setting me up with different people for a while now and nothing has stuck. The most recent person was Booker--"

"le Livre?" Joe fills in, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," Nicky confirms. Figures that Joe would know him, too. "I was out with him, kind of, when we met."

"Who was the other guy then?" Joe wants to know.

"A common acquaintance, who Booker wanted to set me up with because he turned me down," Nicky explains. "So, yes, my mom has been pretty keen on seeing me with someone and, if you do this, if you decide that you really are okay with being seen as my boyfriend, I'm going to have to tell my family, and everyone's going to know, and introduce you and it'll be more serious than you might expect."

"Doesn't everyone know already anyway?" Joe says with a chuckle.

"Well... yeah," Nicky says. "So now, you're going to have to be very secretive if you go on an actual date with someone else."

"Why would I do that?" Joe asks, surprised.

"Why wouldn't you?" Nicky returns. "It's not going to be real between us and I don't want you to miss out on people you might want to be with. You just have to be very discreet."

Joe just shrugs. "That won't be a problem," he assures him. He pauses, pursing his lips. "So I'm assuming we're not telling anyone about this at all?"

Nicky nods. "Yeah, if you're comfortable with that," he says. He then shrugs. "Or you can tell someone who will be discreet about it as well. And then any time that you want to stop things, we can."

"Except for the wedding," Joe reminds him.

Nicky hesitates. "We can always still call it off," he decides.

"You make it sound like it's going to be a hardship, being with you," Joe teases, resting his chin on his palm, elbow on the tabletop.

"I've haven't been in a relationship in a while," Nicky confesses, making a face. "So, you know, that could be possible."

Joe shakes his head. "No way. I refuse to believe that," he interjects. "I mean, we're not even really together and you're already being very considerate." He smiles. "I like that in a man."

"Shut up," Nicky tells him with a laugh. He then turns serious, biting his lower lip. "So what do you think?" he asks.

It's too much to ask of someone, pretending to be their significant other, putting on a show for the people they care about and the rest of the world. But, to Nicky, it probably won't be too bad. Joe is incredibly attractive and it's clear that Nicky already has a crush on him so he doesn't mind the show. But asking it of Joe, who's new to this place, to the people everywhere, it might be too much. Although it does seem like Joe doesn't care much, judging by the way he's taking everything. Nicky's never met anyone who's so cool about everything. From the moment they met, Joe's taken everything in stride, Nicky coming up to him on the sidewalk, the kiss, and now being boyfriends. Maybe he just doesn't care much about things, which makes something in Nicky's chest ache.

"I think that it's been good with me since we first met," Joe says. He stands up, turning to the counter. "Let's order something. I'm starving. What do you want?"

"Uh," Nicky stammers, surprised at the subject change. "I'll just get what you're having."

"Like a true boyfriend," Joe comments, grinning.

Nicky rolls his eyes, looking away to hide his blush. But then Joe touches his chin and leans towards him. "What--" he starts and stops because Joe pecks him on the lips. And then Joe winks and walks to the counter. He watches as Joe orders and charms the cashier and Nicky can't help but think that he has to control his blushing. And his feelings.

Spending time with Joe turns out to be easy. Not that Nicky ever really doubted it that much, seeing how it was so easy for them to fall into teasing each other, all the while pretending to be together. People believed it, too. His friends, Quynh, Nicky's parents, even Andy, who seemed skeptical for a second, they all fell for it. Now, all Nicky has been worrying about is his classes, which he pretty much enjoys, and keeping up appearances, which isn't all that hard. Joe is so pretty on the eyes and he's so comfortable to be around that Nicky finds himself feeling like he hardly has to pretend to like him every time they're together.

And it's precisely that that has Nicky worrying. It's the ease of everything. No relationship can be this easy. Granted that Nicky hasn't been in very many relationships before and granted that this one is fake, he can't really say he knows what actual relationships are like. It's only been a couple of weeks, which is all and well, but he's been waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while now. Something's got to go wrong.

Nicky blows out a breath. He's been trying to read this one paragraph from his textbook for a few minutes now. He just can't seem to get past it because he can't stop thinking about Joe and what could--He cuts his thoughts off when he looks up and finds Joe staring at him from across the table, his elbow on the table, chin on his palm. There's an annoyingly charming smile forms on his face, which tells Nicky that Joe's been watching him for a while now.

"What?" Nicky asks defensively. He can already feel his cheeks pinking.

"You look like you were in deep thought," Joe comments. "Which is cute. You look cute when you're concentrating on something, so I don't really mind it." Nicky makes a face at him, as his cheeks redden. "Everything okay, though?"

"Yeah," Nicky is quick to say. Joe raises his eyebrows. "Everything's fine. I'm just distracted, I guess." He stares helplessly at his books and notes and knows that he's not going to get anymore studying done.

"Do you want to go back to your place?" Joe offers. "I can make dinner and we can watch something."

Nicky nods. "Yeah, might as well," he agrees, gathering his books.

His heart flutters, though, at the thought that Joe still wants to spend some time together, even though it shouldn't be surprising by now. They've been spending time practically everyday. Joe always offers to have dinner together or lunch or offers to cook. They take lots of nighttime walks or have weekend museum or park dates. Other times, they study together or watch television while cuddling on the couch. It's all very realistic and Nicky always has to remind himself constantly that this isn't real.

"Let me just return these," Joe says, standing up and picking up the books he's borrowed from the library. He moves around the table to Nicky's side and presses a kiss to his forehead. "I'll be right back."

Nicky blinks after him, surprised at the sweet gesture. The thing with Joe is that he's very believable. He's never faltered with the act once. He's always holding Nicky's hand, kissing his cheek or his forehead or his knuckles. He's always offering to do things for him. They talk a lot about anything and everything and Joe is always ready to listen when Nicky is struggling with the work in some of his classes. In turn, Nicky tries to do the same for him. While Nicky is more hesitant in showing and giving affection, he catches and matches every single one that Joe gives him. He squeezes Joe's hand, kisses back, and listens, as well. Nicky loves it when Joe talks about something that excites him, whether it's his art classes or soccer, because it lights up his entire face and it's so beautiful to see.

"Ready?" Joe asks, returning without the books. He grabs his backpack and slings it over his shoulder.

Nicky gets up, pushing the chair back under the table. "You sure you're not too tired?" he asks. They've been studying for a few hours and he'd understand if Joe just wanted to call it a night. He leans closer to him. "We don't have to pretend we're together if no one's going to be around, you know," he reminds him, smiling a little. It's something he always does because it's a good reminder for himself as well.

One corner of Joe's lips lift, as his brows furrow every so slightly. He merely shrugs and then he's taking Nicky's hand in his and they're leaving the library for Nicky's apartment.

When Nicky gets out of class the next day for lunch, he finds Quynh and Joe at their usual table. Nicky shouldn't be surprised by now, but he is. After an onslaught of questions and clarifications, Quynh had welcomed Joe into their lives with open arms. Which just adds to his suspicion of why this entire thing seems to be going so smoothly. The last line of defense is Andy, seeing how easily taken his parents were by Joe and by the thought of Nicky dating an al-Kaysani, but he'll worry about his sister when the time comes.

Joe looks up when he notices Nicky and raises an arm so Nicky would sit beside him. Nicky does, because they are in public and because Joe is always warm and up for a cuddle. "Hey," Joe greets him, wrapping his arm around Nicky's shoulders and pressing a kiss to his temple. "How was the exam?"

Nicky shakes his head and sighs. "I'm just glad it's over," he says, putting his bag down on the empty seat beside him. He grabs his phone and his wallet. "I'm going to get a sandwich. You guys want anything?" he asks, seeing as they don't actually have any food yet.

Quynh shakes her head. "I have to be heading to the library in a bit," she explains. "I have to print my paper and cram for a quiz."

"I'll get what you're getting," Joe says, winking at him.

Nicky rolls his eyes, although there's a smile on his lips. "Be right back," he says, squeezing Joe's shoulder.

University meals are never all that great. But he supposes Nicky should be grateful that their university at least tries. There is a variety of meals every single day, with no repeats for at least two weeks. He supposes that's all he can ask for. And the meals are mostly edible so that's definitely a plus. Nicky scans the sandwich selection and decides to grab two different ones so that Joe can choose whichever one he likes better.

"Look who it is."

Nicky looks up to find Booker grabbing one of the desserts. "Booker," he states.

Booker smirks. "I see you've been busy with Yusuf," he remarks.

Nicky's cheeks pink. He clears his throat. "Yusuf?" he repeats, raising his eyebrows. No one really calls Joe that. Nicky has never called him that either because it somehow feels too personal to do so.

"Yusuf," Booker confirms with a nod. "How's it been?" he asks, teasing.

"It's been good," is Nicky's simple answer. Because, while he doesn't want to elaborate on things to someone who's mostly just an acquaintance, it really has been good. For a fake relationship, it's a relationship that most people would call perfect.

Booker raises an eyebrow. "I have to say," he comments, "you guys really are believable. You don't know how many people I've heard complain that two of the most eligible bachelors in university are taken _and_ dating each other."

"What?" Nicky blinks at him. He feels something like cold water wash over him. He can't mean...

"Yusuf and I... let's just say we know each other well," Booker explains. He hesitates. "We talk about things," he further clarifies. He then leans closer to Nicky, looking ready to appease him, maybe because Nicky probably has a look of panic on his face, and whispers, "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me--"

"What's going on here?" Suddenly, Joe is right there, grabbing Booker's arm and laughing almost hysterically. "Come here, you," he demands from Booker. Joe pulls Booker out of line, swiftly returning the dessert on his tray on the process. "I'll be right back," he assures Nicky.

Nicky knew this was going to happen right from the beginning. He even expected it and prepared for it and warned Joe about it. All Joe has to do is be discreet and Nicky would be fine with it. How could he expect Joe to be faithful to him, to a relationship that isn't even real? Still, even with that expectation and that knowledge, Nicky is surprised to find the twinge of hurt in his chest. He reaches to rub the spot where his heart is in an effort to quell it. It doesn't help.

He watches as Joe pulls Booker across the cafeteria towards the exit, his hand sliding down Booker's arm until they're holding hands. Nicky looks away and glances around, hoping that no one's noticed. People seem to be just going about their own business. That's good. He turns back to the line and moves towards the cashier and pays for the two sandwiches. It's okay, he thinks, as he makes his way back to their table. He and Joe talked about dating other people. This is perfectly okay. It's all good.

They don't talk about it. Nicky doesn't bring it up and Joe doesn't either. While Nicky thinks about it a lot, Joe doesn't seem to give it a passing thought. Nothing seems to have changed either. Joe is still as attentive as much as a fake boyfriend could be. Nicky decides that it's not worth bringing Booker up. If Joe doesn't want to talk about it or doesn't want to discuss it, he'll leave it be. Besides, in the bigger scheme of things, Nicky has no say in Joe's life.

He sighs and grabs his phone. Quynh had installed some dating app on his phone a while back, one he's never really checked since them. He opens it now, not really sure what he's doing and uncertain as to what he'll find.

It's not too bad, he thinks, after a while of swiping left and right. The guys on the app seem to be decent and respectable. The ones he's seen, at least, don't seem to be all about sex or one night stands. He swipes right on the next one, named Tyler, curly hair and has a scruff, and they get matched. Apparently, he finds Nicky attractive too.

A message pops up from Tyler, asking him to meet up that night, adding that he knows how straightforward it is. Nicky glances at the clock and then at his laptop and schoolwork. He's not sure where Joe is, thinks that he mentioned something about going out with some friends and decides to say yes to Tyler. He's got nothing to lose. Might as well let loose for a night.

They meet at some bar that Nicky's never been to before. Seems like a new one, judging by the bright lights and the long line outside. Tyler is tall, Joe's height, and has longer curly hair than the one on his photo. They greet each other outside and make their way in, Tyler having an in with the door men.

They make their way to the bar, surprisingly finds a spot, and Tyler gets them drinks. Nicky takes a big gulp, halving the drink in one go. He doesn't know why he's here.

"Thank you for meeting up on such short notice," Tyler says, leaning closer to make sure he's heard.

Nicky shrugs. "Why not, right?"

Tyler nods and smiles. They talk about first date things: where they study, what year they're in, favourites, travels, among other things. As far as first dates go, it's not bad. It's comfortable enough that Nicky doesn't feel like he made too much of a mistake going. But he's relieved anyway when Tyler excuses himself to go to the bathroom. It buys him some time to just relax.

Nicky is leaning against the bar, bobbing his head to the music, when he sees Booker in the crowd. It shouldn't be unusual, but it feels weird to see someone from school or an acquaintance here. It feels so random. He's about to raise his hand and catch his attention when Booker turns, laughing, and reveals Joe behind him. They're with several other people, it seems, but the fact remains that Booker and Joe are together again.

They're dancing around, while drinking, laughing, having fun. Nicky can't help but notice how close Joe and Booker seem. In public. It's not that Nicky minds Joe actually seeing other people. It's just that they had a deal that they were going to be discreet about it because their thing had to be believable. Joe turns in his direction and Nicky looks away, failing to see Joe see and recognize him. He glances at the direction of the bathroom and finds Tyler making his way back towards him.

"Nicky!" Joe calls.

"Hey." Nicky grabs Tyler's hand and pulls him towards the exit.

"Everything okay?" Tyler asks, frowning a little.

"Nicky!" It's Booker this time.

Nicky really doesn't want to deal with them. Not right now. "Let's get out of here," Nicky insists and he and Tyler make their way out of the bar.

It's only a few days until the Freeman wedding and Nicky still hasn't really talked to Joe. Nicky's been avoiding him since the week before, giving the excuse that he's busy with classes. But there are only so many times Nicky can give that excuse or hide from him.

When Nicky comes out of class, Joe is there, looking good as ever. Of course. Nicky can't help the flutter that he feels in his chest and tummy. He will probably always get that feeling whenever he sees Joe. He smiles at Nicky, albeit uncertainly. Clearly, Nicky has no choice but to deal with this now.

"Hey," Nicky greets. "Sorry about being so busy--"

"Nicky, c'mon," Joe interrupts him. "You gotta give me a bit more credit than that. We know you haven't been _that_ busy." Nicky looks away and swallows. "What's really wrong? Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't--" Nicky starts and stops when Joe raises his eyebrows knowingly. He sighs. He hates himself for what he's about to do. But if he doesn't, he might ruin whatever friendship he and Joe could still have. "Listen," he continues, "I was thinking... maybe we should stop this."

Joe furrows his brows. "Stop... this?"

"This," Nicky repeats, his heart thudding painfully in his chest as he gestures between the two of them. "This thing we're doing, pretending we're together. I think it's not working out anymore, don't you think?" He watches as Joe realizes what he means, his eyes widening and then shuttering when he finally looks at Nicky.

"But what about the wedding?" Joe points out, frowning even further.

Now that it's been brought up, Nicky doesn't actually know what he's going to do about the wedding. He's pretty sure that the moment his mom finds out that he's single again, she'll go on and on about finding him someone else to go with. She'll probably be so disappointed about how he let Joe go. Not that he could do anything about that. Still, he's not sure he wants to be there for when his mother finds out that Joe and Booker are dating.

Nicky shrugs. "I'll figure it out," he lies. "Maybe find someone else to go with."

"Like that guy at the bar?" Joe interjects.

Nicky looks at him. There's something burning behind Joe's eyes. "Possibly," he answers anyway. "Who knows?" He hasn't really talked to Tyler since that night. They left the bar and Nicky got into a cab and went home.

"Is that why you want to end this? Because you're seeing someone else?" Joe asks.

"Well, don't _you_ want to end this?" Nicky returns the question. "I'd think you'd want to end this even more than I do."

Joe narrows his eyes a little before blinking and stepping back a little. "If you really wanted to break up, you could've just said so. You didn't have to dangle him in front of me." He scoffs. "You weren't even being discreet about it, which was what agreed we would do."

"That's rich coming from you," Nicky retorts.

Joe presses his lips together. "Me?"

"It doesn't matter," Nicky insists. Better to just get this over with. He takes a deep breath and looks at Joe again. "I'm really grateful," he says, voice softer now that he's calmed down, "for helping me out, for pretending to be with me just so my mom would leave me alone. Thank you. It's..." He swallows, suddenly feeling a bit emotional. His heart hurts. He likes Joe. Really likes him a lot. Joe's shown him what it could be like with someone who's sweet and gentle and loving. Nicky wishes a lot of things, but he has to let go. He has to let Joe go. "It's been really nice," he finishes.

"Nicky," Joe calls quietly, his hand weakly grabbing Nicky's to stop him from walking away. "Can't we just..." He hesitates. "Let's wait until after the wedding," he says. His hand squeezes Nicky's and Nicky looks down at their clasped hands. It looks good together. Nicky's always liked holding hands with Joe. "Let me see this through for you," Joe entreats.

It doesn't make sense why they have to or why Joe would even want to. It's probably a mistake for Nicky to agree because prolonging things like this never bodes well. Especially for someone like him who's pretty much fallen for Joe in every way. "Okay," he agrees with a gentle nod. "Fine. After the wedding then." Joe smiles a little, looking relieved. He steps forward to give Nicky a kiss, but Nicky moves away. "Let's not," he says, dropping Joe's hand.

"Of course," Joe scoffs a little. He stands there for a few seconds and Nicky just watches him. "Well, I guess, I should..." He gestures down the hall, as if asking Nicky for permission to leave. "I told Booker I'd meet him after--"

"You don't have to tell me about you and Booker," Nicky cuts him off, ignoring the stab of hurt it sends. "I get it." He turns the other way and leaves Joe standing there by himself.

"Nicky!"

He barely manages to catch Quynh in his arms when she launches at him. They hug for a few seconds because she doesn't let him go immediately. "Hey," he greets her when they finally pull away from each other.

"You look so good," Qunyh compliments him, eyeing his dark navy suit. She then proceed to twirl around, the skirt of her red gown flowing beautifully.

"So do you," Nicky says, reaching for her hand and kissing her knuckles. They start to walk towards the entrance of the reception. But Qunyh pulls him aside. "What's wrong?" he asks, frowning a little.

"So," Qunyh starts and it immediately raises Nicky's hackles. "Andy mentioned that you haven't introduced Joe to her yet, even though she's asked you about him."

Nicky averts his gaze, glaring at the floor before turning to look at her again. He'd tried to hard to avoid the subject with Andy, always telling her that it's a busy time, that Joe's busy, and that maybe they'll meet at the wedding. "I told her that she can just meet him here," he repeats exactly the words he tells her whenever she brings Joe up.

Qunyh raises her eyebrows. "And how come I haven't seen Joe these past two weeks?" she demands. "And where was he during the wedding? Why was he seated with Booker?"

"Because he's been busy and because he arrived late," Nicky states. In fact, Joe arrived late _with_ Booker. But he doesn't want to think about what that might mean. "He does have a life outside of us, you know."

And just that thought really hurts. Of course Joe has a life outside of Nicky. Joe's world doesn't revolve around him. Nicky's not even a part of it, not really. The past few months of them dating-- _pretending_ to be dating--was everything Nicky could've hoped for and more. But he really shouldn't have believed it. That was his mistake, to have fallen for the make believe, to have thought that the fairy tale was a reality. The whole thing was never anything more than a transaction. It was something Nicky needed to get his mom off his back and it was something Joe needed to help himself settle into life at a new university, a new place. He should've known better than to even have thought of doing this in the first place. He'd already been attracted to Joe even before they knew each other. All the signs that this was going to end in his heartbreak were there. Nicky should've listened. He should've heeded all the warning signs.

"Nicky, what's going on?" Qunyh asks. Her eyes have softened and there's a frown on her lips. "Are you guys okay?"

He shakes his head. He hates making her worry about him. "We're fine," he assures her. "Nothing's going on." He takes her hand and they walk into the venue. "I'm sure he's here somewhere and then we can go find Andy so they can finally meet."

They scan the people milling about, socializing before the wedding starts. Nicky doesn't really want to look for Joe. They haven't talked all this time and he doesn't know what else he can say to him outside of him pouring his heart out, which he cannot do. Not now, not ever, not with Booker in the picture. Speaking of Booker, Nicky spots him by the buffet table, chatting and laughing with an attractive guy, shorter than him, with a semi-shaved head. If Nicky didn't know any better, he'd think they were flirting with the way they're leaning so close to each other.

"There he is," Qunyh says. She starts pulling Nicky across the room to where Joe is, looking incredibly hot in his gray suit. "Here you are," she announces to both of them. Joe looks up just as she pushes Nicky towards him. "Joe, please talk to your boyfriend. He hasn't been himself these days." She then gives them both kisses on their cheeks and walks away.

"She's ridiculous," Nicky mutters, pulling away from Joe's hands on his hips.

"You look beautiful, Nicky," Joe tells him, so earnestly that Nicky can't help but blush.

"Thanks," Nicky says. "You too."

They're quiet. It's weird. They've never been like this, even when they first met. Joe always spoke up, always knew what to say to keep Nicky talking and engaged. Nicky supposes that things are different now and Joe doesn't really need to talk to him like before.

"I should go," Nicky announces.

Joe grabs his hand. His hand is warm on Nicky's and Nicky really misses it. He misses Joe. "I really don't understand," Joe says when Nicky looks at him, "what's going on." Nicky averts his gaze. "Why... why are you mad at me, Nicky? What have you been avoiding me? Why are we breaking up so suddenly?" he asks.

"Joe," Nicky responds, taking a deep breath as he looks at Joe holding his hand. He takes his hand back. "We're not breaking up. Not really," he reminds him with a small smile, no matter how much the words hurt. "Besides, you have Booker."

"Booker?" Joe echoes in confusion.

"Yeah, Book--" Nicky cuts himself off when he searches for Booker by the buffet table.

"What--" Joe turns to look.

"No," Nicky practically yells. He grabs Joe by both his shoulders so that he wouldn't turn around and see Booker kissing the guy he's been _actually_ flirting with. How dare he! And to cheat so blatantly. "I'm going to kill him."

"Nicky. Let me see." Joe chuckles, giving him a teasing, fond look. He takes Nicky's hands off his shoulders and turns to follow his line of sight. Booker is pressing the guy to the edge of the buffet table now.

"I'm so sorry, Joe," Nicky whispers. This is terrible. Of all the things to happen, catching your significant other cheating is one of the worst. And at a wedding, too. "He's a bastard."

"Why are you sorry?" Joe asks, grinning as he looks back at Nicky. "Booker and James can never keep their hands off each other. Just ignore them."

Nicky furrows his brows. "You know about them?" he asks. Joe nods. "Are you guys all together?"

"All together?" Joe he repeats, frowning a little when Nicky just keeps staring at him expectantly. "What, you mean me, Booker and James?" Nicky raises his eyebrows. "No," he clarifies, shaking his head. "Of course not."

"I don't understand," Nicky says. He plays with the cuff of one of his suits. "You and Booker are dating."

"What?" Joe responds in surprise, his eyes wide, mouth hanging open. "Me and Booker?" He opens his mouth and then closes it again. He then glances at where Booker and James are still entangled with each other and then back at Nicky, who looks very confused. Something seems to click in his mind because he straightens up, the surprise clearing up from his face. "Is this why you wanted to break up? Because you think Booker and I were dating?"

Nicky suddenly feels very warm all over. This is not happening to him. "Well, you guys have been spending a lot of time together," he stammers.

"Yes, because he's been asking help with how to woo James," Joe clarifies. "Which he didn't really need help with because James has been stupidly in love with him all this time."

Nicky tries to breathe. Booker is with someone else. He's not with Joe. Joe is not dating someone. Joe is single. But then the thought of Joe being single still hurts because it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't make Joe his. Nicky still doesn't get to keep him.

"Okay," Nicky says, calm and collected. He takes a step back to preface the fact that he's leaving now and this conversation forever. "That's great. I mean, I'm sorry I assumed. I didn't mean--I just thought--" He turns to run. "I'm gonna go," he declares. But as soon as he takes one step, Joe is grabbing his hand again and pulling him back.

"Please don't run away from me, Nicky," Joe says. "Not again."

"I'm not," Nicky says, his voice breaking. He clears his throat. "I just... need some air."

"Let's talk outside," Joe offers.

They walk through the double doors leading to a spacious balcony. It's beautiful and the air is cool and fresh. Nicky leans against the balustrade and looks out into the gorgeous lighted garden. He closes his eyes when he Joe sidles up next to him. They're not quite touching, but Nicky can feel his warmth. He doesn't say anything and neither does he. Nicky doesn't think he can say anything that would make him less embarrassed or less hurt than he does at that moment.

"So," Joe speaks up. "Booker and I talked before my move here." Nicky opens his eyes and notices that Joe's back is resting his back on the balustrade, unlike Nicky. "We were talking and he'd been teasing me about being single and dating someone, which I completely shrugged off and just laughed at because I really wasn't looking to date anyone. But he was insistent and said that he wanted to introduce me to someone," he shares. He shrugs. "I figured, fine, why not, right?"

Nicky shifts in his position, but doesn't say anything. He really doesn't want to hear a story about his friends setting him up with someone.

"And then," Joe continues, "one night, when we were out having dinner to celebrate my move, I met someone, completely by accident." He moves so that he's facing Nicky, his side is leaning on the railing. "You see, I was just standing there, smoking, minding my own business when this incredibly stunning guy comes up to me," he relays. Nicky straightens up, his hands stiffening on the concrete. "Apparently, this guy was bothering him and he needed someone to help him shoo the guy away."

"Joe," Nicky starts, finally looking at him. But he doesn't say anything else. He's not sure what he can say. He's not sure he understands what Joe is driving at.

"So we make out a little, which was amazing, by the way, and the guy who was bothering him leaves," Joe carries on, winking at Nicky, who blushes. Nicky can still remember the way that kiss made him feel. "But then I had to go and, you know, I was stupid enough to let him walk away. All I got was a name. I didn't even think to get his number!" Joe shakes his head, looking like he really thought he was stupid for having done that. "Anyway, I tell Booker about it. I tell him that I met someone, his name is Nicky and he's beautiful, and then he says, _'that's funny, the guy I want to introduce to you is named Nicky.'_ "

Nicky gapes at him. "What are you saying?"

Joe smiles. "So when I found out we were going to the same school, I pointed you out to Booker and the look on his face," he says, laughing. "Booker couldn't believe that you were the same guy."

"Because I told him I wasn't interested," Nicky remarks. He faces Joe. "But that was because I thought he meant..." Joe raises his eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. "I thought he meant Keane and I didn't want to go out with him."

Joe bites his lower lip. "Would you have been interested if you knew it was me?"

Nicky sighs, mimicking Joe's earlier position of leaning his back against the railing. "What are we doing here, Joe?" he asks. "I really don't understand. We should really end this now before..."

"Before what?" Joe presses. He sounds sad.

Nicky looks at him. "Before things get out of control," he answers.

"Why are you always so afraid of things getting out of control?" Joe wonders. "You said the same thing the first time we talked about getting together."

" _Pretending_ to get together," Nicky corrects him.

Joe lets out a breath. He pushes himself off the balustrade, dusting himself off of whatever imaginary lint he thinks there is. "Right," he says. "Well then, I guess this is it." He smiles, but Nicky can tell that it's forced. Joe's smiles are a force of nature and they're always sunny and always makes Nicky feel like swooning. This is not one of those smiles. "I hope you and that guy are happy and I'll just..." He chuckles, scratching the back of his neck. "I'll--"

"What guy?" Nicky Interjects.

Joe blinks at him. "The guy that you're dating."

Nicky blinks back. "I'm not dating anyone."

"The guy at the bar," Joe repeats. "You know what," he says, raising his hands in surrender. "It doesn't even matter. We're clearly done either way." He drops his hands to his sides and kind of deflates. "I'm going to miss you, Nicky," he confesses and he frowns so much that Nicky reaches out and touches his cheek, his thumb on the corner of his lips.

"We can be friends," Nicky offers. He hates the idea. He doesn't want to be just friends with Joe. But he'll take whatever he can keep of him.

Joe shakes his head and steps back, leaving Nicky's hand hanging in the air. "I can't," he tells him. "I'm sorry. I mean, yeah, maybe eventually. But not right now."

"What?" Nicky can almost feel his heart breaking. Joe doesn't even want to have anything to do with him? "Joe--"

"I'm in love with you, Nicky," Joe blurts out. He covers his face and then just drops it, as if giving up. "I'm so far gone for you that it's ridiculous. Like it probably doesn't make sense to anyone else because we barely even really know each other because it's only been a few months. But it makes so much sense to me. The first time we met, that connection, that kiss and you're so beautiful all around and so good..." He trails off, shaking his head and looking every bit in love and gutted at the same time.

Nicky is in shock.

Joe laughs halfheartedly when he sees Nicky's reaction. "I know," he adds with a chuckle. "Don't worry. I promise I'm backing off. I get it, you don't feel the same way." He shrugs. "So yeah, I'm sorry. I can't be friends yet." He inhales and then exhales. "Okay then, I guess I'll see you around." He smiles again when Nicky still doesn't say anything.

Nicky doesn't say anything because it doesn't compute. How could Joe be in love with him? How is it possible that Joe, who's so amazing, so gentle and sweet and kind and handsome, could be in love with Nicky? It just doesn't make sense. Also, if it is so, how could Nicky not notice? But then... Nicky thinks about Joe and remembers all the little things, the small, sweet kisses, the hand-holding, him making Nicky dinner, spending time with him in the library, always being by his side and then he just realizes... he's probably known all this time. Just as Nicky's known that he's probably been in love with Joe all this time.

"Joe," Nicky calls just before Joe makes it back into the ballroom. Joe stops, his hand on the door. "Please wait."

Joe doesn't do anything for a second and then he faces Nicky. Nicky thinks, it's now or never. He pushes himself off the balustrade and approaches Joe, slowly, uncertainly, until they're within arms reach of each other. Nicky reaches up and cups Joe's face. He watches in wonder as Joe just practically melts onto his hand, tilting his face and nuzzling into it.

"Yusuf," Nicky whispers.

Joe meets his gaze and seems to realize what he's doing and steps back, making Nicky pull his hand back. "Nicky, please don't," he says. "Please don't make fun of me."

Nicky laughs and shakes his head. "I'm not," he assures him. "All this time I thought you were making fun of me, indulging me to the point that I just gave up and let myself fall for you." Joe's mouth hangs open. "Joe, I don't know how you've never noticed, but I think I've been falling in love with you since the first time that we met." He laughs even more when Joe's eyes widen at this.

"That's not possible," Joe then speaks up, looking like he's struggling with what Nicky just said. "You've never... you always tell me that we're pretending, like you're keeping me away and telling me that you don't like me like that, and I've always thought..."

"Joe, we were pretending, no matter how I felt or how you felt," Nicky reminds him. "We didn't get into this with the idea of being in an actual relationship. You were helping me out with my mom and it was convenient for you..." He frowns. Joe really had nothing to gain from this entire thing, now that he thinks back on it. It can't be that Joe did this just because...

"Yes," Joe says, finishing his line of thought. "It was convenient for me, that this handsome boy, who's so attractive, came to me for help and wanted me to pretend to be his boyfriend. Why wouldn't I? I knew I liked you then." Nicky giggles, almost hysterical, at how stupid they both were, how stupid he was. "So," Joe brings his attention back, "you have feelings for me, too?"

"I have lots of feelings for you," Nicky lets him know. He moves closer to him and he leans his forehead on Joe's. "I'm in love with you, Yusuf al-Kaysani. I love you in a way that I never thought I'd be allowed to."

"Nicolo," Joe whispers, cupping Nicky's face. "I'm going to kiss you, okay?"

Nicky kisses him as an answer.

"So I take it you guys are good now?"

Nicky hums, not really listening as he watches Joe charm the person manning the cash register. The poor girl has turned several shades of red the entire time Joe had been talking to her. Which, Nicky understands completely. He still has lots of moments where Joe just makes him blush to the roots of his hair. The man is a charmer and so good at it. Nicky grins when the cashier and Joe laughs and sighs when Joe turns back to him, probably noticing the way Nicky's been watching him. He winks at Nicky, who rolls his eyes and looks away. He catches Quynh staring with eyebrows raised. Nicky turns red at being caught acting like a lovesick idiot.

"I guess that's all the answer I need," Quynh mutters.

"Hey," Joe greets them when he comes back after ordering. He takes the seat beside Nicky and puts an arm around his shoulders. "What you guys talking about?" he asks.

"We haven't been talking because Nicky is too busy making eyes at you," Quynh announces.

Nicky flushes. "I was not," he defends himself.

"You were, though, babe," Joe agrees with Quynh. Nicky pouts. "Don't worry, I don't mind," he assures him with a peck on the lips. "I like that you make eyes at me."

Nicky beams at him and gives him a longer, more thorough kiss.

"You guys are disgusting," Quynh declares with vehemence. "You guys weren't like this before. What happened?"

"We fell in love," Joe answers, eyes still on Nicky.

"Yes, we did," Nicky agrees and kisses him again.


End file.
